His Gain from You

¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life."  

-Proverbs 31: 11-12

As we continue on through Proverbs 31, we come to the husband of a virtuous woman in verses 11 and 12. The husband is a good indicator of the virtue of a woman, according to this passage. Why else would it be there?

Right at the forefront of this passage is "Her husband has full confidence in her..." 

Why? Because this woman isn't doing anything questionable. She isn't meeting with other men in private, or talking about marriage and relationship troubles with other men, or flirting with other men. She wears clothes that don't turn heads and ask for attention. Her husband has full confidence in her because she makes wise choices each day. She includes him in on decisions and allows him to have his say, or even his way, when it comes to them. 

Her husband can trust her because she doesn't give him a reason not to. 

Next we read "Her husband...lacks nothing of value." He is gaining because of her. He gains self-esteem, company, insight, confidence, etc. What could you do to make your man gain from you? Do you keep him accountable when it comes to spiritual matters? If you're dating and not married, do you be sure to refrain from tempting him sexually? 
Your presence in his life should be contributing to him in all aspects of life. Encourage his work, his dreams, his ideas. Help him through the tough stuff in life. Be happy for him when he achieves. 

The next two lines of this passage talk about living our lives for the good of our men. We as women of virtue need to be working to bring good to our relationships. What does this look like?
Don't nag. Have real conversations when you're bothered by something. 
Don't shut him out. 
Write him notes, telling him how much you respect him.
Encourage him. 
PRAY for him. (Pray for your future husband, too. Even though you may not know who he is yet!)
Show genuine interest in him and his day. 
Keep God the center of his life - not you. When his love for God comes first, the love he has for you becomes much sweeter.
Don't give him reasons to worry about you with other guys. Use common sense!

This part of Proverbs 31 really displays how a woman is in Christ through the way her man carries himself. A Godly relationship with Christ will take the pressure off your man when it comes to him meeting your needs. That is going to be the basis of many of these posts as we go along. Who do you REALLY depend on in your life to meet your needs? We'll be looking at why it is so important to put God over your man when it comes to this. 

Pin It

Winning Relationship...

Pin It

The Respect Issue

Call me old, but when I was a kid, we had way more respect for everyone, and HAD to have way more respect. Today, there are kids and teenagers talking back, snubbing and even attacking parents, grandparents, teachers, leaders, any adult, and any peer they come across. Though there was some of this when I was a kid, there definitely wasn't as much, and kids couldn't get away with what they do today. This is an issue - whether we choose to acknowledge it or not.
Ladies, did you know that a guy's greatest need in a relationship is RESPECT?
I guess that could be one of the reasons it is an issue.
If we as ladies can't respect our own parents, siblings, teachers, leaders, and even friends at times, how are we expected to know how to treat a husband? Yes, you are entitled to your own opinion, and yes, you have the right to express it, however - when your world only revolves around you and your opinion, that doesn't sit too well with others. When you can work things out with your parents and not throw a fit or power struggle, or run away from the conflict, then you are truly learning about the meaning of being a grown-up who can show respect.
It takes work. It takes practice. It's not always in a woman's nature to express respect, but that is precisely why God calls us to do it.

"...the wife must respect her husband." - Ephesians 5:33b

God knows how we're designed. That's why He reminds us to work hard at respect. Don't worry ladies, He also reminds the guys to love first. This is because the guys are more focused on the respect language and ladies more on the love language. We interpret things differently, so God reminds us to take each other into consideration in Ephesians when it comes to love and respect.

The Challenge:
Do you tell your parents/grandparents how much you appreciate them? Do it.
Do you appreciate how hard they (your parents, grandparents, husband) work(s)? And tell them!?
Do you appreciate how they long to protect, provide and take care of you? And tell them?
Do you appreciate their willingness to serve and lead? And tell them? And more importantly - ALLOW them to?
Do you listen to their insight and advice? And tell them you appreciate it?
Do you spend time with them? And tell them you appreciate their company?
Do you wear clothes that don't insult or show off everything? (I find this disrespectful to guys trying to stay pure physically and mentally. Remember, you are 50% of the problem when you dress that way.)

Ladies, this can start no matter where you are in life. The way you treat others in your life is a great practice to how you'll treat a future man, or current man in your life. Even if you have no intentions of having a husband, this is SO incredibly important to the wellness of your relationships and lifestyle. Others will respect you. You'll be more lovable too. We live in a world that has written off the respect concept in many aspects. Don't join the cycle. Fight it.


Pin It

Singleness: Time Well Spent?

Have you ever considered just how wonderful the gift of singleness is? Sure, having a man in your life is probably the ultimate dream for many of you out there, but consider the perks of singleness. Are you using your time to yourself in a fruitful way? Check out these positive traits of singleness:

1) You get to spend your money on what you want. It is said that one of the biggest conflicts between couples is money. Marriage takes a budget and a sense of knowing where your money is going. Sure- even when you're single, you have bills to pay and groceries to buy, but when you're married, you are keeping track of 2 people's needs, 2 sources of income, and twice the amount of groceries and expenses. When you're single, extra money is more prominent usually. You can go shopping for a new outfit, eat out more, buy stuff you want without checking with your partner on everything. That is definitely a perk.


2) You get to spend your free time on what you want. Before I got married, I always thought that after marriage the same free time would be there - until kids of course. Wrong. There are a whole new slew of responsibilities that come with marriage and husbands. It's not like you are constantly taking care of your man, but both of you need to make sure the bills are paid, food is prepared, house is cleaned, income is being earned, etc. Free time doesn't happen as often as you may think or dream it will. You have to constantly be in communication with your spouse, and working on building your relationship with them. Marriage is more than just throwing 2 people together - it's a constant growing and learning process. When you're single, you can just leave and go out with friends on the spur of the moment, whereas with a spouse, it is pretty important to check in with them before just taking off.


3) The toilet seat is always down. Yep - that old cliche of guys leaving the toilet seat up is true. Not only that, they leave clothes on the floor, dishes in the sink and move things you put in a specific place. The milk levels are always the same as you left them when you're single. When you're married, you'll probably be constantly out of milk and cereal. That seems to be a guy's favorite meal - by the way. Singleness almost guarantees things will be there the way you left them. (Unless of course you have a roommate.)



4) Decisions are yours. Here's a no- brainer: You get to make your own decisions. Sounds good, huh? When it comes to what you want for dinner, you can make that stir-fry instead of eating pizza (or cereal) for the 100th time. Movies are a big one for us. My hubby loves the action-packed, shoot-em up movies with all the blood and gore, and I love those cute, tugs at your heart-strings, romantic comedies. It's always a battle on movie nights at our place. We do have those rare movies that we both like to watch, but I haven't watched one of my romantic comedies in months. When you're single, you can watch whatever you want whenever you want. Feeling like a cartoon - pop in Bambi. Or shed some tears to The Notebook. There aren't any bloody, gory movies in your future, unless that's your thing. This is the same case with any of your favorite things. Mr. Right won't be agreeing with you on everything.


5) You have the time to grow in yourself and in Jesus. Singleness is God's gift to us when we need to grow more in Him. He knows when we're ready to throw a man into our lives for a reason. If you are spending your single life scouting out guys and moping about your situation, you are using your time poorly. How about joining a Bible study, or better yet, leading a Bible study with a group of teen girls about growing themselves in Christ before finding a guy? That's what I did. I can't tell you how priceless that time with those girls was. I learned as much as they did! Once I was ready to meet Mr. Right, God provided when I least expected it. I knew I was ready because God made it VERY clear. My priorities had been shifted to loving Him instead of seeking another man. Don't assume that every man that walks into your life is "the one". Just let it go as it is. God will make it clear.
Focus on your life in Christ. Use your time to build up your relationship in Him and helping others do the same. It might just amaze you.

Pin It

The Value of a Virtuous Woman

Did you know that guys are longing to find a great lady of character? Sometimes I wonder if the girls of today's society really realize what type of women those great guys are looking for. I'm not talking about the guys who only care about your figure and what you can give them. I'm speaking of those great guys who open the door for you; care about what you believe in- what your passions are and what makes you on fire in life. They care more about what you need and desire more than what they need and desire.
Your character will determine the types of guys you attract.
Think about that. If you are strutted around town in a top that is really a bra, and shorts that don't go far enough down to cover your butt checks- you're going to get those low-lives who only want to take advantage of you.
However, if you spend your time learning and pursuing your passions - especially those passions that work for Christ - you will get those guys who want you for you - your personality, your passions, your desires, and your looks will come along with it - not the other way around. This is just one of many reasons being a lady of virtue is SO important.

We read right off the bat in Proverbs 31:10, "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."
This tells me just how valuable a virtuous woman is - especially in today's society. Are you in check when it comes to being a woman of noble character? Are you actually attracting guys of noble character? They go quite hand and hand. You will reap what you sow. Throughout Proverbs 31: 10-31 we will discover exactly what the definition of a virtuous woman is. 

Many of today's girls are not seeking Godly men, though. Unfortunately, I see many girls grabbing a guy - any guy- just so they feel loved. Once he's gone, they have a new one in less than a week. No wonder divorce is so prominent today. What these girls don't realize is that they need Jesus to fill their empty hole in their hearts before they try and put a man there. Otherwise you will find yourself in the arms of a guy who doesn't care about you fully - just what you can give them. Or, the first time you become unhappy with them, you'll trade them in for someone "better". And the cycle will continue on and on, well beyond finding "Mr. Right". 

Ladies, before you go looking for a man to love, make sure you are in check with your character. A man of high, Godly character is priceless, but he won't come to you unless you are truly a woman of Godly character. They will see right through your butt-shorts and low-cut shirt. Until you truly place Jesus in your life, you will continue to settle for those low-life guys who could care less about Jesus and good values. There is no reason to treat yourself that way. God made you to be loved fully for who you are. Don't settle. Let Him increase in your life, so you can trust Him more and more in every aspect.   Pin It

Timeless Words

As I continue through this blog, I'd like to spend ample time visiting the characteristics of a virtuous woman. The Bible is full of so many examples of women who carry these virtues and really display them in how they go about life. Real, human women who actually waited for their "Prince Charming". 

For now, let's just read over the actual words of Proverbs 31 where the virtues of a noble women are listed. Ponder and share your feelings on these words:

The Wife of Noble Character (Proverbs 31: 10-31)

^"10 A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."  (NIV)

Now before you give up on these words, thinking, "wow...these words are so old-fashioned and obsolete to our culture today," allow me to try and put them into today's world for you. God uses His Word to teach us no matter where we're at or in what time period we're in. That's the beauty of serving and following a God who is the same yesterday, today and forever. 

Take some time to ponder these words today. Pick a chunk that stood out to you the most and just focus on how it could apply to you today. Whether you're married, single, 15 or 50 - look for what God is saying here. 

As we continue on through this blog, I will break it down in what I interpret, and help you to make your own meanings and apply it to your own life. I hope to share activities, recipes, devotionals, inspiring words or pictures I come across, whatever. There are many ways to help each other as ladies, in word and deed.

Pin It

The Ultimate Happiness

A book that has been a HUGE help in my life when it came to relationships and finding "Mr. Right" was Jackie Kendall & Debby Jones' book, Lady in Waiting: Becoming God's Best While Waiting for Mr. Right.

My eyes were left wide open after reading this book, as it made me realize how important my relationship with Christ is over my earthly relationships, and why it should be. It all has to start with this concept of recklessly abandoning yourself to become God's best. Only when you realize you need to do this, do you begin to find a deeper contentment in yourself, your life, and your earthly relationships.

A line in this Lady in Waiting that has struck me and stuck to me is the following:

"No one, not even the man you will marry one day, can make you happy - only Jesus can."

Wow! Talk about a heavy realization for a girl devoting her life to finding a man - but how incredibly true this is. How many of us girls have spent a good chunk of our teenage/college lives seeking Mr. Right (who we mistakenly label as our ultimate happiness)? Many girls will believe that marrying or in today's world - moving in with- a guy will save them from their awful life situations. Since when do humans have that kind of super-ability?
Guys can't do what only God can in your life.
When we trust in guys to make our lives better, we will be burned. Even the greatest of men can't give you ultimate contentment. They can't give you ultimate security. They can't fill that emptiness in your heart that you feel. Only Jesus can.
Don't rush into a relationship to find ultimate happiness. We are called to wait to prevent heartache, not to create it.
Naomi reassures Ruth in Ruth 3:18 by telling her to wait.

"Then Naomi said, 'Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today."

If you truly trust in God to provide for your deepest needs, He will make it happen without you pressuring the situation. When you are ready to throw a man into your life, God will know it - in fact, He knows you better than you even know yourself.

Drink in this amazing contentment God has for you in your relationship with HIM. Don't go and seek contentment from guys, drugs, sex, alcohol, etc. Those things will make you happy for a short time, but God has the power to make you happy forever. Take advantage of His work in your life. Learn to open your Bible before you open a relationship with some dude. If you "don't have time to read your Bible," you certainly don't have time for guys.

  Pin It