His Gain from You

¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life."  

-Proverbs 31: 11-12

As we continue on through Proverbs 31, we come to the husband of a virtuous woman in verses 11 and 12. The husband is a good indicator of the virtue of a woman, according to this passage. Why else would it be there?

Right at the forefront of this passage is "Her husband has full confidence in her..." 

Why? Because this woman isn't doing anything questionable. She isn't meeting with other men in private, or talking about marriage and relationship troubles with other men, or flirting with other men. She wears clothes that don't turn heads and ask for attention. Her husband has full confidence in her because she makes wise choices each day. She includes him in on decisions and allows him to have his say, or even his way, when it comes to them. 

Her husband can trust her because she doesn't give him a reason not to. 

Next we read "Her husband...lacks nothing of value." He is gaining because of her. He gains self-esteem, company, insight, confidence, etc. What could you do to make your man gain from you? Do you keep him accountable when it comes to spiritual matters? If you're dating and not married, do you be sure to refrain from tempting him sexually? 
Your presence in his life should be contributing to him in all aspects of life. Encourage his work, his dreams, his ideas. Help him through the tough stuff in life. Be happy for him when he achieves. 

The next two lines of this passage talk about living our lives for the good of our men. We as women of virtue need to be working to bring good to our relationships. What does this look like?
Don't nag. Have real conversations when you're bothered by something. 
Don't shut him out. 
Write him notes, telling him how much you respect him.
Encourage him. 
PRAY for him. (Pray for your future husband, too. Even though you may not know who he is yet!)
Show genuine interest in him and his day. 
Keep God the center of his life - not you. When his love for God comes first, the love he has for you becomes much sweeter.
Don't give him reasons to worry about you with other guys. Use common sense!

This part of Proverbs 31 really displays how a woman is in Christ through the way her man carries himself. A Godly relationship with Christ will take the pressure off your man when it comes to him meeting your needs. That is going to be the basis of many of these posts as we go along. Who do you REALLY depend on in your life to meet your needs? We'll be looking at why it is so important to put God over your man when it comes to this. 

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Winning Relationship...

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The Respect Issue

Call me old, but when I was a kid, we had way more respect for everyone, and HAD to have way more respect. Today, there are kids and teenagers talking back, snubbing and even attacking parents, grandparents, teachers, leaders, any adult, and any peer they come across. Though there was some of this when I was a kid, there definitely wasn't as much, and kids couldn't get away with what they do today. This is an issue - whether we choose to acknowledge it or not.
Ladies, did you know that a guy's greatest need in a relationship is RESPECT?
I guess that could be one of the reasons it is an issue.
If we as ladies can't respect our own parents, siblings, teachers, leaders, and even friends at times, how are we expected to know how to treat a husband? Yes, you are entitled to your own opinion, and yes, you have the right to express it, however - when your world only revolves around you and your opinion, that doesn't sit too well with others. When you can work things out with your parents and not throw a fit or power struggle, or run away from the conflict, then you are truly learning about the meaning of being a grown-up who can show respect.
It takes work. It takes practice. It's not always in a woman's nature to express respect, but that is precisely why God calls us to do it.

"...the wife must respect her husband." - Ephesians 5:33b

God knows how we're designed. That's why He reminds us to work hard at respect. Don't worry ladies, He also reminds the guys to love first. This is because the guys are more focused on the respect language and ladies more on the love language. We interpret things differently, so God reminds us to take each other into consideration in Ephesians when it comes to love and respect.

The Challenge:
Do you tell your parents/grandparents how much you appreciate them? Do it.
Do you appreciate how hard they (your parents, grandparents, husband) work(s)? And tell them!?
Do you appreciate how they long to protect, provide and take care of you? And tell them?
Do you appreciate their willingness to serve and lead? And tell them? And more importantly - ALLOW them to?
Do you listen to their insight and advice? And tell them you appreciate it?
Do you spend time with them? And tell them you appreciate their company?
Do you wear clothes that don't insult or show off everything? (I find this disrespectful to guys trying to stay pure physically and mentally. Remember, you are 50% of the problem when you dress that way.)

Ladies, this can start no matter where you are in life. The way you treat others in your life is a great practice to how you'll treat a future man, or current man in your life. Even if you have no intentions of having a husband, this is SO incredibly important to the wellness of your relationships and lifestyle. Others will respect you. You'll be more lovable too. We live in a world that has written off the respect concept in many aspects. Don't join the cycle. Fight it.


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